Humor

ULTIMATE Life Goal Answer Keeps Me Bare-Skinned

Today I heard the best security question ever.  But, first, a quick back story. In 2009 I took out a secured loan.  A small balance remained.  Presently, I’m near the end of standing naked in an allegorical spread-sheet format before bankers, credit companies, loan specialists, underwriters, and other such entities in the mortgage refinance business. “The underwriters would like you to pay off that 2009 secured loan,” noted one of the above persons.  “Please show the account that you used to pay []

Blame Election Hyperbole on Six Moral Foundations

After Tuesday’s elections spouse asked, “What are your Facebook friends saying about the election?”  First let me explain:  spouse will not, under any circumstances ever, join Facebook—yet, he’s a semi-Facebook voyeur always asking, “What are the peeps saying today?”  (Sometimes I’ll read him the posts in their entirety to demonstrate the utter blandness of my Facebook page.  But  I’ve blocked the fire starters as a measure of my good health, AKA lowered blood pressure.) Anyway, I decided to take a cruise through []

Is It Hot In Here or Am I Having A Hot Flash?

I don’t doubt that climate change is upon us. So when the conservative think tank, Heartland Institute, recently set up an electronic billboard that read, “I believe in global warming.  Do you?”  with a billboard sized photo showing the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, as the believer, I thought I was self-incinerating.  But I wasn’t.  It was a Six-Oh Dear! symptom–also known as a hot flash. Admittedly, I wore the pretty-in-the-morning out after more than 23,000 daily wake ups.  But there are mornings when []

429 Anti-Inflammatory Flames of Good

This floodgate of what I now call “sparks of light from the prism” amaze me. It is everywhere. I find good deeds in my newspaper’s letters to the editor, on Facebook, in books I’m given, and from random discoveries. A heightened awareness of good seems to foster more good. It also spins my Irish temper into an Irish toast. What would once have given me cause to jump all over some nincompoop now coerce me into smiles and humor.

Chef Dakota Weiss & Her Top Chef “Mother Effin” Snakes

Author’s note:  This is a continuation of a series of blogs about the experience of watching my daughter, Chef Dakota Weiss,  make her way through Bravo TV’s Top Chef Texas, currently airing on Wednesday nights. Spring break at Scottsdale Culinary Institute gave my daughter, Chef Dakota Weiss, now a Top Chef Season 9 contestant, time to stay with us in our northern New Mexico log house in the middle of an apple orchard.  Beautiful place.   True to the Top Chef public relation []

Crazy News Gets Spouse Cookies Instead of Jailed Wife

Spouse rushed from the morning news on the tube and into the spare bedroom when he heard  me rustle through an old cedar chest for my pink rabbit ears and skunk tail. “NO darling!” he wailed.  “They’ll either haul your naked ass, but for the skunk tail and rabbit ears, to jail for indecent exposure, or the neighbors will simply close their drapes and pretend they didn’t see you—again–running stark naked and screaming down the street.” “Shut up!  Help me find my []

A Berry Pie, A Pale Carpet, & A Top Chef Future?

After a 1986 spring visit to the chi-chi shops of Palm Springs, a Southwestern pastel pallet of peach, mauve and teal inspired a redo of our harvest gold and brown home’s interior.  Two weeks later, my now pre-adolescent daughters and I swooned over a pale apricot carpet sample.    OMG the apricot carpeting and peach painted walls, trimmed in pale teal, was gorgeous. It reversed our masculine-inspired home to a three females in-charge and in-control home.  Concurrent to the home redo my []

Time For Spicy Logic–The Ginger Tea Party

I sipped more ginger tea. I thought about the Tea Party demands; I thought about the progressive demands; I thought about my own budget (or lack thereof); I thought about religious demands; I thought about corporate demands, and I started to gasp for lack of oxygen.

Two cups of ginger tea later a spicy idea landed. Start my own party, the Ginger Tea Party.