When a woman who has bore her spouse’s children and lived through all the natural and unnatural ups and downs of marriage and life with that spouse, and when their life’s soup is so thick that it has congealed into a multi-level bonding; and then to discover that her husband is a cheater and possible father to another woman’s child, this is absolutely unbearable. There is no damage control.
From my own experience, you don’t recuperate; you just learn how to live with it—maybe.
Now I know why I thought John Edwards was the all that candidate. He was a louse. I always tended to gravitate toward the louse. (Note: Past tense sentence!) And I can’t help but laugh when recollecting how the far-right eluded to a gay Edwards. Sadly, he was just as lousy as Gingrich, Giuliani, Vitter, Clinton and the rest.
So Mrs. Edwards writes her latest book, “Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities,” makes the usual promotional rounds, and columnists bash her for airing the laundry. I say, you go, girl. Of any high profile politician, John Edwards was the biggest fool and the cruelest of cheaters. Go ahead, Elizabeth, flog the crap out of that man.
But what about the kids? Daddy already did the damage. Mommy must do what she can do to regain some feeling of relevance and justice. The kids will survive. Mommy won’t.
2 thoughts on “Elizabeth Edwards, Can I Get You A Cat O’ Nine-Tales?”
Keep up the good work with your blog!!! I have been the Music Supervisor of a feature film and soundtrack,
When you get the chance, check out my blog: http://drmyers.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/infidelity-to-home-to-party-to-country/; recently dealing with Elizabeth Edwards and Infidelity!!
Shoot me an email; perhaps we could do a mutual blog roll.
I would love to know more of your thoughts!
Twitter.com/aaronmyers (If you have twitter, shoot me an email)
There is little new I can offer after earlier expressing my disapproval in my comments responding to your Limbaugh critique of those who inflict the pain of infidelity on those they love.
Adultery is far from the only form of infidelity. The searing pain of infidelity can be brought home by almost anyone who has our trust and betrays it. That can be a friend, a parent, a sibling, a child, ad seriatum.
The pain of infidelity when it surfaces with a spouse, or lover, comes from the nature and degree of trust and confidence which one reposes (in the most intimate of relationships) which is shatters, most often irreparably, that hard-earned trust.
Rebuilding trust is the most elusive of goals, as you courageously reveal in your comments above. It’s unlikely the experience and the resulting pain will ever “go away” one simply must make a decision whether to continue and redefine the relationship, or abandon it.
It would seem that Ms Edwards has decided to continue her marriage, and her motivation and reasoning should warrant privacy and discretion. I’m more than willing to afford those to her.
What I can’t understand is why she would wish to rake her pain over very public coals, and in so doing not only perpetuate her pain, but lessen the chances of successfully redefining the relationship with the father of her children and spouse, in whom you and I hold in contempt.
Given the surfeit of dysfunctionality I’ve observed and experienced in life I harbor little, if any, interest in becoming a “Peeking Tom” observing the ruins of the Edwards’ aspirations. How she handles this is her business.
I pray she finds the peace she deserves, but I fear the public forum in which she has chosen to ventilate is unlikely to bring her more than economic solace, if that. Sadly, in continuing to scourage her husband in public Edwards, an aggrieved party, runs the risk of becoming a self-flaggellant.
As for me I tend to believe that Elizabeth Edwards is already more affluent than I, so given the essentially private nature of her dilemma I lack a compelling reason to buy her book.