Searching for the “real” me

I self-assigned a near disaster in an effort to scientifically prove the real  me:  Watch Favorite TV Programs and Study Advertising Placement.  Inspiration came from fellow blogger, Debi Drecksler   and her Authentic Me Campaign.

My first discovery authenticated a sanity-survival technique self-taught during the early days of parenting—shut off what I don’t want to hear.  That includes squawking voices.    This lingering skill undermined my scientific study, however.  Every time the commercial runs aired, my inside ears shut it off and I went about the business of chopping carrots, chatting with spouse, visiting the bathroom, or checking Facebook updates.

In other words, I wandered away from the noise, which was my assignment, and ignored my yellow legal pad and pencil sprawled across the coffee table.

So, yeah, I flicker some and overlook discipline. Wasn’t looking for that.

But I’m not that undisciplined.  So I got back to my project.

Truth is I don’t watch much television.  But I am a news junky.  So I tracked advertising on the local 5 p.m. news, followed by world news, followed by a political commentary program. 

Thirty-seven ads aired during my two-hour authentic self exploration.  Local news at 5 p.m. said I’m young, with a pet, slightly interested in political candidates, and consume fast food.  This is not authentic me.  While I am the new (young?) 40-something (AKA the old 60-something) with a domineering cat, I will vote, but fast food gets a thumbs-down.

World news depressed me.  Besides dismal reports, so was my profile as likely determined by an expert lurking within a NYC tower.  To suppress flatulence while getting cosmetic dentistry, with heartburn caused from the payments on my upscale vehicle, worried that my spouse’s ED medication may make him ready at the wrong moment, thinking that perhaps I should purchase some old-guys’ vitamins and hair growth gel for him on the way home, while I munch on some aspirin to stop my heart attack after looking at the weird and over-sized eyed optometrist who has dry eyes like mine, I should seek good hands by an insurance company who cares and swallow some Beano.  Whew!   Then, just maybe, there would be enough left of my old and decrepit body to sprinkle some magical blue garden juice around my tomato plants.

When the political commentary began, I wished I had kept chopping carrots for dinner instead of searching for authentic me.  Yet, while political pundits may believe that they hold the answers, their advertisers saved me from despair.  Apparently those of us who listen to political chatter might need something for ED or osteoporosis, but not a problem because we travel, carry the latest in electronic gear, enjoy local theater and dabble in the garden.   Now I don’t have to take “old fart” literally!

This search route was like trying to find an authentic cubic zirconia.  I’ll keep searching and keep you posted.

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